Take Two

I live in a stupid flat.

Don’t get me wrong; the flat is nice and all that: wooden floors all over, apart from the kitchen and bathrooms which are tiled, two large bedrooms and a large-ish livingroom with a (fake) fireplace and access to the balcony. The kitchen has built-in hidden dishwasher, washing-machine, fridge and freezer and a double-decker built-in oven (a smaller oven/grill on top of the main one). To finish it off, there’s a built-in microwave on top of this arrangement.

For all its splendour, I don’t think anybody actually meant for people to actually live in it. It’s those little things that are annoying; I’ll explain what I mean. Here’s a few of my pet hates, in no particular order:

• the microwave is placed too high up on the wall. I’m not particularly short, but I have to stretch to place anything into or take it out of the micro.
• only the ensuite bathroom has a usable shower. To take a shower in the morning I have to go through the other bedroom! What’s up with that?
• no storage space in any of the bathrooms, apart from a tiny ledge just by the sink. Where did they intend for people to store toiletries etc?
• apart from the livingroom the flat has practicly no windows. There’s nothing more than a peephole in the kitchen and each of the bedrooms.
• the fake fireplace together with the placement of the very dominating radiators in the livingroom makes it hard to place furniture in any decent configuration.
• the mailbox is so clumsily constructed that the postman almost has to fold over postcards in order to get them through the opening.
• oh, and this is my favourite: the paint used on the walls (even in the kitchen and the bathrooms!) is not water-resistant. This means I have to put a piece of cardboard opposite the sink to avoid the paint being washed off the walls should I spill some water on it when I’m washing up.

So, what were they thinking?